I know a worship leader who recently “left” his church. They said they wanted the typical megachurch-style worship, produced and professional, and that’s what he gave them.
The congregation seemed to love it and attendance grew but unfortunately, that’s not what they really wanted. When Aunt Bessie’s honkey-tonk Southern Gospel piano riffs don’t fit in with the style of Hillsong United, spineless leadership caves when she complains about not playing enough and threatens to leave the church.
Non-musical elders, deacons and pastors can’t fathom why there’s a dilemma – they want the bells and whistles (and crowds) of megachurch worship yet don’t understand why Aunt Bessie can’t be a part of it. They don’t really want modern worship as much as they want to keep some people happy and not rock the boat.
I know of another church music director from the old Willow Creek performance school – top 40 secular hits to open the service with little to no congregational singing. When his pastor wanted the services to be more “churchy” (i.e. actually singing songs about God) the music director quit in frustration – he was a gigging nightclub musician with no understanding or interest in worship music.
So misery sometimes abounds in the church music world – you can be miserable if you want to do contemporary worship and miserable if you don’t.
The problem is you might be in the wrong church. One big thing I wish I had known as a young music director was: does my style match my place of ministry? I’m not against either Aunt Bessie’s Southern Gospel or Hillsong United – ministries should be stylistically different to reach as many people as possible. But if you’re a Hillsong United type of worship leader I’d think twice before accepting a Southern Gospel style church job – even if the leadership wants you and claims to have plans for updating their music.
Take a look at yourself this week – what are your personal goals and strengths in ministry? Do they line up with the direction of your church? If not, and you’re feeling frustrated, it might be time for a heart to heart talk with your leadership.
Bottom Line: A lot of worship leader misery comes from a ministry mismatch.
10 Responses to “Worship Leader Misery”
February 19, 2013
FrankI wish somebody had told me this 8 years ago…
February 19, 2013
Dennis MoranDon,
You have such a gift for painting pictures of the places where there is friction or conflict and most of the issues are based upon divergent people’s life long sense of how things “Ought” to be. I know one pastor that would at times tell someone that told him he was leading “their” church in a way that was not worshipful or where God intended, that they might be happier in a different church. Half the time they left, and half the time the stayed and periodically just continuued to make negative comments. I recently asked to leave the contemporary service praise team at our church which is/was very vital and contributing to people being closer to God to be a part of the blended and traditional services. My main instrument is guitar and I lost some of the “Cool” factor but did not feel I needed to leave the church. I rarely lead now but really feel like I belong. The music ranges from light rock (Contemporary Christian), light jazz, western swing, southern gospel and straight hymns. It has really been a gift to be a part of this team, but the “lining up” could not have happened at just any or every church.
February 19, 2013
Andrew BumpusOr it may be time for some personal stretching for me to learn to worship and lead through yet another style of music, realizing it is more important for the people to worship than for me to have my stylistic preference stroked. If you’re a one-style, one-pony worship leader, you are doing your people a disservice by dictating their corporate worship fit your style! The same goes for Aunt Bessie as a worship leader – she needs to be willing to stretch to learn to worship through other styles of music.
February 19, 2013
ErikAndrew:
I agree that many of us may have to stretch ourselves. But I think that some of our people could find other ways of using their particular gifts. I remember one older gentleman who was the worship team’s guitar player, but he couldn’t play in the style that we needed (he was from the “Carter Family” school of guitar playing). He stayed with the church, but found other ways to play besides Sunday mornings. He and his wife lead songs at nursing homes and other churches, who appreciated that style of music. Not everyone will get “the spotlight” but there are other avenues that people can take.
February 25, 2013
Don ChapmanThat sounds great but I don’t know anyone who is a Southern Gospel lover who also loves Hillsong United. The styles are too drastically different. People really don’t have very wide musical tastes – they like one thing or another… they listen to country radio or pop radio. If you’re in a Hillsong United type church I think there’d be a riot if you attempted to stretch the church’s style into The McKameys.
March 9, 2013
JoeIt sounds to me like the issue is rooted in something beyond style. That fact that an article like this needs to be written is a sad statement on the American Church. When we come to church and expect to get rather than to give, these types of issues arise.
Realistically, we shouldn’t be worrying about pleasing anyone except God. We should take honest looks at our congregation. Decide where they’re at, and where they need to be by the end of the year. Then, we lead.
While I agree that being in a church where you’re passionate is a good thing, we need to be careful that it never becomes about us. Leadership requires sacrifice, and sometimes that sacrifice is our personal preference. The fulfillment comes when Aunt Bessie “gets” worship and serving a congregation. It comes when the congregation is pouring their hearts into worship based on who their worshiping, not the way in which they are doing it.
March 12, 2013
KateWhy don’t we all give everyone at church headphones so each one can listen to their preferred style of worship. Even better, let’s just have separate churches for each style so nobody needs to go to church with people that like different music to them. Then your Hillsong United worship leader won’t have to deal with Aunt Bessie. And vice versa. Surely separating ourselves into perfectly homogenized churches is what Christ had in mind when he said ‘by this all men will know that you are my disciples’ – it’s so much easier to love others if they’re just like me…
February 19, 2013
ErikIt’s like the adage: “Try to please everyone, and you’ll end up pleasing no one.” Don, you are correct in saying that most of the problem comes from “spineless leadership.” In an effort to calm down Aunt Bessie, they will first try to get the worship leader to change, or convince him/her to “throw the congregation a bone” by doing a hymn or Southern gospel song. Usually, they will come to you and say, “Some people have been talking to me…” Whenever that happens, that’s when I fight the urge to just roll my eyes.
The truth is, leadership needs to cast the vision for the church, and the members and staff need to come into line with it. If you choose hymns or Hillsong United, that’s up to your church. It depends on who it is that you are ministering to. Certain people will go for gospel while others are attracted to modern worship. The challenge for the worship leader is to make sure that his/her worship is in line with what that church needs. This may cause some of us to readdress our personal tastes in music (remember, it’s not about us), or we may decide to go somewhere else where we feel comfortable. This sounds crass, but in the long run it may save you some of that misery we have been talking about. Leaving a church or ministry is not the end of the world; it may lead to other opportunities that God may have in store for you. I’m not advocating leaving a church because you’re not getting your way; God will not bless petty little fits. Each of us needs to pray earnestly and see what God wants of us.
February 26, 2013
T FloydI am greatly encouraged by the conversation. I personally connected with Dennis’ comments-as the 50 something guitar jock who has had to keep learning new styles (while he is crying out for a melodic lead sans Clapton). Most church people lack the vocabulary to have an effective conversation. They experience tension (or thankfully peace) but lack the words to capture it.
Current day: most church groups can find a comfortable, familiar style within a relatively narrow palette. And it’s not rebellious that one group cannot embrace both Aunt Bessie and Hillsong. It’s too wide a palette.
Here’s the challenge: how will we serve the rising, self-absorbed iAttitude generation that hits the forward key on their iThing when they tire of things? Their worldview is radically different. I think part of the answer is instructing them in how to “be still and know”… which involves meditating on a core scriptural Truth or soaking in His presence and does not mix with iEntertainment and its accompanying attitudes.
March 1, 2013
MartiI actually agree with everyone, but our church handled it a little differently. We tried twice for the pianist (more conventional but not opposed to contemporary) and the guitar players to get together. The guitarists wanted to play every song in either G or D and were clueless about hymns. The morning crowd just sat and listened with no real worship. So, after praying about this, the pianist decided to play on Sunday evenings where more conventional hymns were sung. Sunday morning still isn’t very worshipful, but at least the “riffs” aren’t apparent. Only other thing I’ll say is that it isn’t just “Aunt Bessie” who likes the older hymns . . . I do, too, as I am finding many of the contemporary hymns to be redundant in structure and chords (I also like much of the Hillsong). I am the music minister for our Association of 15 churches, and we have been finding the more we stop doing conventional hymns . . . the more people we are losing to other churches.