Christmas can be a joyful season, but for those in seasons of despair it tends to amplify the pain.
Viktor Frankl, author of Man’s Search for Meaning, discovered many insights on hope and despair during his time in Nazi concentration camps during WWII. One of Frankl’s observations was that Christmas time saw a disproportionate number of deaths in the camps. Christmas is a time of hope and love, but that feels like a false reality for those feeling neither.
A Christmas Tree of Remembrance is a great way to acknowledge these people this season. It can be set up in your church lobby or sanctuary for people to write their griefs, losses, or burdens on paper tags and hang them on the branches as a shared act of bringing sorrow and remembrance into the season of hope.
How to Set Up a Remembrance Tree
When to put it out: Set up the tree at the beginning of Advent, or at least a week or two before Christmas. Leave it in place through Christmas Eve so people have multiple opportunities to participate.
What you’ll need: A small artificial tree or a few branches in a sturdy vase, simple paper or wooden ornaments, pens, and a small table nearby. Choose a location where people can participate without feeling watched or rushed.
How to introduce it: Explain the purpose during a service or in your church newsletter. You might say:
“Christmas is a season of joy, but for many of us it’s also the season when aches feel louder. If that’s you, you’re not alone, and you don’t have to pretend here. Jesus didn’t come into a world that was fine; He came into our grief to carry it. So this year, we’re setting up a Tree of Remembrance in our church. Take a tag, write down a loss, a burden, or a name you miss, and hang it on the tree. No one will read it, and you don’t have to sign it. It’s simply a way of saying, ‘Lord, this is real, and I’m giving it to You.’ Watch it fill up over these weeks and let it remind you that we carry this season together.”
How to use it during worship: Invite people to add ornaments before or after the service or set aside a few quiet moments during the service. You could accompany the moment with gentle instrumental music, a brief Scripture reading, or a prayer for those who are grieving.
A Small Gesture That Says a Lot
Keep participation entirely optional. Decide in advance how the ornaments will be handled after Christmas. People might take theirs home, or the church could keep the tree in place for a little longer.
Grief won’t disappear, but people will be reminded that they don’t have to hide their sadness to belong at Christmas. Their church has room for both sorrow and hope, and that’s enough for now.
